How are we called to express our love for one another in a sexual way? Of course the Romantics insisted that we should act on whatever impulses we might experience, and over the last 100 years, more and more Americans have followed their lead. But as family structures have collapsed, leading in turn to all sorts of tremendous social problems, maybe it’s time to seek some different advice.

When Jesus was asked about the permanence of marital bonds, He went all the way back to Genesis to find the answer, to the time before sin had entered into the world. He thus made it clear that human beings, both male and female, were created in the image of God. Jesus therefore rejects the notion that women are simply objects intended to satisfy men’s wants and needs. There is thus no room in the Christian faith for anything that degrades women or shames them. At the same time, Jesus affirms that human begins were designed to relate to one another sexually. That means there is also no room in the Christian faith for the idea that sexual desire is in and of itself sinful, either for men or women.

But Jesus’ answer to the Pharisees also makes it clear that God designed human beings to express their sexual desires only within the context of a lifelong marriage of one man and one woman. Therefore, regardless of how many ways human beings fail to hit this target, we cannot deny that this was God’s original plan for us.

So, how do Christians deal with the sexual brokenness that is increasingly rampant in our society? In the first place, we should not be surprised that sin twists our sexual attractions in all sorts of ways, making us want relationships that are not good for us or for others. But while we admit that unhealthy attractions are indeed part of this sinful world, that doesn’t mean we should give into them, as the Romantics urge us to do. Instead, we are called to channel our sexual desires according to God’s will, regardless of what we may want or feel. And while we are patient and loving with others whose attractions are not healthy or holy, we must continue to uphold God’s plan as best for all of us.

Mark 10:1-12 (NASB)

And rising up, He went from there to the region of Judea, and beyond the Jordan; and crowds gathered around Him again, and, according to His custom, He once more began to teach them.
2 And some Pharisees came up to Him, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.
3 And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”
4 And they said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
5 But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.
6 “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
7 “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother,
8 and the two shall become one flesh; consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh.
9 “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
10 And in the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again.
11 And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her;
12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”