“If it feels good, do it! Be true to yourself and follow your heart!” That’s what the Romantics teach. But according to King Solomon, nothing could be further from the truth.

Now remember, the Song of Solomon is a whole-hearted celebration of the love between husband and wife, so Solomon can’t be accused of simply being a prude or a prig. But he does see the importance of confining sexual love to marriage, of allowing sexual expressions of love to build up and nurture only one exclusive relationship. Marital bliss, he says, is like drinking clear, fresh water from our own wells (Proverbs 5:15). On the other hand, setting our hearts on more than one beloved is like pouring out water into the streets (Proverbs 5:16-17). It’s a waste of energy and does no one any real good.

In fact, sleeping around is self-destructive in all sorts of ways (Proverbs 6:32). Of course it incurs the righteous wrath of jealous husbands (Proverbs 6:34). But it also leads to poverty for everyone involved (Proverbs 6:26).

And we can all point to plenty of examples of such poverty, can’t we? Of course a man who wastes his money on prostitutes or divides his income among ex-wives or baby-mamas will have less for himself. But we also know that the biggest single contributing factor to poverty today is not race or educational level but family structure: married couples just do better than single parents where it comes to bringing up children. Married people even tend to be physically healthier.

So no, the Romantics were wrong. Free love may feel exhilarating (Proverbs 5:20), but it’s actually more like walking on hot coals and expecting your feet not to be scorched (Proverbs 6:28). How much better to follow Solomon’s advice: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18). For it turns out that experiencing the sort of blessing, the sort of joy that is described in the Song of Solomon can be found only in marriage.

Proverbs 5:15-23 (NASB)

15 Drink water from your own cistern, And fresh water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be yours alone, And not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.
20 For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress, And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?
21 For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the LORD, And He watches all his paths.
22 His own iniquities will capture the wicked, And he will be held with the cords of his sin.
23 He will die for lack of instruction, And in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.