It always hurts to say goodbye to those you love, whether it be sending a child off to college, a friend to a job opportunity in another state, or a grandparent to a nursing home. And sometimes we have to release a loved one to death itself. How do we deal with the departures that come our way all too often?

Jonathan gives us a clue in verse 22, when he commented that it was God who had sent David away from him. Now, to be sure, his father’s irrational paranoia and jealous rage were the immediate reasons David had to flee, so it would have been easy for Jonathan and David to become bitter at King Saul as a result. Instead, the two friends rested in the knowledge that, even though they could not control the sometimes crazy circumstances of life, God can.

And in fact, God’s sovereign power is demonstrated in these very passages. Knowing how suspicious his father could be, Jonathan developed an elaborate ruse that would have allowed him to let David know the results of his interview with King Saul. But it turned out that the ruse was unnecessary, for when the time came to let David know that Saul was indeed out for his blood, there wasn’t anyone around. Yes, it was part of God’s plan for David to run away, but God also made it possible for the two friends to say their goodbyes in person.

And knowing that God is in charge of everything leads to the second great comfort Jonathan points out in today’s passage: the certainty that God would be with both friends, even though they were apart (verse 42). In fact, the two friends had made a solemn oath to one another, swearing that God would be “between” them. Now, by this, they didn’t mean that God was somehow separating them, but instead that He was right with them, among them, as if He had an arm around each one’s shoulders. And so, because they knew that God is all powerful, and because they knew God is everywhere, David and Jonathan could be confident that God would be with both of them, no matter how physically distant they might have had to be.

And we New Testament Christians can draw even greater comfort from this truth. For we know that Christ is present with all who trust in Him in the person of His Holy Spirit. That means that the closer we are to Christ, the closer we are to all the other Christians whom we love, no matter how separated we might be from them in space or time. For all who trust in Him are part of His one body. And when He returns to rule the world in power and glory, we will all be reunited forever.

So, if you have to let someone go, trust God’s good and perfect will for you and for him or her. And remember that, in Christ, we are never really that far apart at all.

I Samuel 20:18-23, 35-42 (NASB)

18 Then Jonathan said to him, “Tomorrow is the new moon, and you will be missed because your seat will be empty.
19 “When you have stayed for three days, you shall go down quickly and come to the place where you hid yourself on that eventful day, and you shall remain by the stone Ezel.
20 “And I will shoot three arrows to the side, as though I shot at a target.
21 “And behold, I will send the lad, saying, ‘Go, find the arrows.’ If I specifically say to the lad, ‘Behold, the arrows are on this side of you, get them,’ then come; for there is safety for you and no harm, as the LORD lives.
22 “But if I say to the youth, ‘Behold, the arrows are beyond you,’ go, for the LORD has sent you away.
23 “As for the agreement of which you and I have spoken, behold, the LORD is between you and me forever.”

35 Now it came about in the morning that Jonathan went out into the field for the appointment with David, and a little lad was with him.
36 And he said to his lad, “Run, find now the arrows which I am about to shoot.” As the lad was running, he shot an arrow past him.
37 When the lad reached the place of the arrow which Jonathan had shot, Jonathan called after the lad, and said, “Is not the arrow beyond you?”
38 And Jonathan called after the lad, “Hurry, be quick, do not stay!” And Jonathan’s lad picked up the arrow and came to his master.
39 But the lad was not aware of anything; only Jonathan and David knew about the matter.
40 Then Jonathan gave his weapons to his lad and said to him, “Go, bring them to the city.”
41 When the lad was gone, David rose from the south side and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed three times. And they kissed each other and wept together, but David more.
42 And Jonathan said to David, “Go in safety, inasmuch as we have sworn to each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD will be between me and you, and between my descendants and your descendants forever.'” Then he rose and departed, while Jonathan went into the city.